Facts about Fat

As you have probably noticed by now, the advertising and marketing industry seem set on confusing us, deceiving us with all kinds of lies, half-truths, misinformation and feeding us hogwash as reliable information based on “research”. Conflicting information on the same things are forcing discerning consumers to distrust the tall claims of products and product categories and do their own research to find out what is really true. And even then, one can never be sure, as there are so many vested interests involved.

For example, something shouts out “Fat free!” but fails to tell you it is loaded with bad-for-you refined carbohydrates, sugar, sodium and all kinds of artificial ingredients that will make you fat anyway and are much worse than having a bit of butter or oil. And that it contains plenty of calories from the carbs and sugar contained in it. Or something that cries out “Sugar Free!” and is loaded with artificial sweeteners, trans fats and a lot of other harmful stuff. All the ads try to tell you that just because something is “fat free”, “sugar free” or “low calorie”, you can eat any amount and nothing will happen, which is a lie. Because calories are numbers – they add up. And if what you take in is more than what you expend, you have excess calories in your body, which will be stored as fat! Simple Math – which they try and deceive you into ignoring!

One of the dietary items to fall casualty to people’s misconceptions is fat. Many people in their fruitless efforts to lose weight cut out fats, because fats are high in calories and also are blamed for causing heart disease and clogged arteries. Or if they do have fats, they stick to only one kind of highly polyunsaturated fat like sunflower oil, thinking it is ‘healthy’ fat. 

Here are some facts I have collected about fat over the years that help me to be balanced in my attitude to them and use them judiciously.

Facts about Fat:

There are two main types of natural fats: Saturated fats and unsaturated fats. The unsaturated fats are further divided into polyunsaturated fats and monounsaturated fats.

Then there are the artificially created hydrogenated oils like Dalda or margarine that contain the extremely unhealthy trans-fats. Because they are more stable, they are preferred by the food industry.  Avoid them - they are dangerous for health. Bought bakery goods like cookies, cakes, muffins, puffs etc. contain them, and so do many processed foods. Most biryanis have hydrogenated fats used in their preparation. Buy only from reliable sources.  

• Fat does not make you fat! Fat takes longer to digest, so you feel full longer and you will take in less calories totally because you don’t get hungry too quickly and snack in between or overeat at the next meal. 
• Some vitamins like A, D and E are fat soluble, so if you don’t take enough fat, you will have deficiency in these vitamins. 
• Our body needs a balance of different kinds of fatty acids to be healthy, so consume a variety of fats and use various kinds of natural oils in your cooking. Don’t use only oils that claim to be ‘heart healthy’. 
• Dairy fat is good provided it is not highly processed. Stick to natural butter, ghee and natural cheeses in limited quantities (if you can make these at home, all the better). Avoid highly processed dairy products, esp. cheeses and U.H.T. milk .
• Add nuts to your diet, but not fried and/or salted ones. Have them raw or lightly roasted and unsalted, and in very limited quantities, as they are high in calories. Nuts contain Omega3 fatty acids and vitamin E and protect the heart by lowering the LDL cholesterol. Avoid nuts that have gone rancid. 
• Polyunsaturated fats like sunflower oil are more fragile and deteriorate at high temperatures. They also go rancid faster. Both processes generate free radicals that are damaging to our health. Use these fats, but not exclusively, and don’t heat them to high levels or keep them too long.  
• Coconut oil and ghee can stand much higher temperatures before they deteriorate. Since they are saturated fats, use sparingly in small amounts in certain foods that are improved by the flavor of these fats. Don’t avoid them completely as they too have health benefits.
• Olive oil is very good, but it is not suitable for Indian cooking. In fact, it deteriorates at high temperatures and creates free radicals that are harmful. Use it raw for salads or sprinkled on bread, or for sautéing vegetables, but not at high or smoking temperatures. If you don’t use it frequently, buy smaller bottles and keep in the fridge. Use as quickly as possible.
• Indians use sesame (til) oil, peanut oil, mustard oil, all of which are good and contain higher amounts of monounsaturated fats and a healthier balance of Omega3 and Omega6 fatty acids. Use more of these oils.
• If you use oil for deep-frying anything, don’t heat too much oil. Use a smaller quantity and fry the item in batches. Top up with more oil as needed. Use the left over oil the same day in cooking other dishes.
• Throw away any oil that has accidentally become too hot and has smoked too much. It has already deteriorated to dangerous levels and is loaded with carcinogenic free radicals.
• Don’t buy oils and fats in bulk and don’t use rancid fats or damaged fats! The small amount of money you save may backfire in poorer health and higher medical bills! Buy oils in smaller packets/bottles and check date for freshness. If you cannot consume it within a few days, keep it in an airtight bottle in the fridge and keep smaller quantities of it outside.  
• Don't eat out too often, as you cannot control the type, quality and quantity of fat among other things. Most restaurants reuse oil, use hydrogenated fats, (and harmful MSG and artificial colorings), so for better health limit eating out to special occasions as much as possible

(To know more about the different kinds of fats, their benefits and dangers, Myths and Facts, Good vs Bad cholesterol, Omega 3 fatty acids, etc., see http://www.helpguide.org/life/healthy_diet_fats.htm   I personally don’t agree completely with everything written here, but this article is a good source of information on the role of the various fats in our bodies and can help to improve our fat-eating habits for better health.)

On Selecting Vegetables

In my last post I had given some general tips about getting the best out of your vegetables. Here I would like to give you some hints about some of the common vegetables used in Indian cooking.

In most Indian markets, you can hand pick your vegetables, esp if you have made friends with the vegetable vendor. It is advantageous to cultivate such friendships - the vendor gets a regular customer and keeps you happy by giving discounts and letting you handpick your choice. Find a friendly vendor who sells good ware at a fair price and stick to him/her as far as possible. Give a smile and ask how he/she is whenever you meet, ask questions and indulge in some friendly bargaining and you have got yourself an ally. Avoid unpleasant bargaining that borders on exploitation - remember he has to make a living and the bit of money you save means more to him than you.

When choosing vegetables, try and pick them of uniform size, because it is easier to cut them the same size so that they cook evenly and look attractive. 

Basic and essential vegetables in Indian cooking:

Coriander leaves – Choose a bunch that looks fresh, dark green and leafy. Cut off the roots and excess stalks and if it is to be consumed within a couple of days, put in a plastic container in the fridge as it is. Otherwise, roll in a piece of newspaper and store in an airtight bag till needed. Never store any greens wet, they will rot. If you wash before storing, dry thoroughly on a newspaper under the fan. Usually green coriander is added to the food at the last minute, just before taking off the fire. Cut just before adding for fresher flavor – never cut and store or leave around for too long.

Green chillies – buy fresh and tender chillies, not over ripe ones, which are full of seeds and tough to slice or chop. Remove the stalks (that’s where the rotting begins) and store in a container in the fridge. Line the container with a piece of newspaper to keep them dry. If you want the flavor without it being too hot, slit the chillies lengthwise and scrape off the seeds with a spoon or the back of a knife. Some chillies are hotter than others, so quantity may have to be adjusted accordingly. Touch your finger to the cut edge of a chilly and then place it on your tongue to gauge its strength. DO NOT touch your eyes after handling chillies!

Mint leaves – Remove yellowed or discolored leaves if any and follow the same instructions as Coriander leaves. As far as possible, buy only fresh looking bunches.

Curry leaves – These are usually given free when you buy vegetables in India. Avoid discolored or spotted leaves or those that are too tender, too large or too small. Remove the leaves from the stalks and store in a container in the fridge. Wash and shake off the water just before adding to the seasoning and they will not burn, but remain green. Watch out for spluttering, though.

Limes – Buy limes that look fresh and yellow, but not over-ripe. Check to ensure there are no soft brown spots – the hard circular marks don’t mean anything. Green limes are sometimes good too, provided they are not too immature. Test for juiciness by pressing lightly – they must not feel dry and hard, but give a little under pressure and bounce back. Limes that don’t release their juice easily can be heated a bit either by plunging them in hot water or microwaving them for a few seconds before cutting. The membranes of those tiny capsules containing the juice will burst and release the juice and they will be easier to squeeze.

Ginger – buy plump, healthy looking rhizomes. Avoid shriveled or dry ones. Soak for a few minutes to loosen dirt, wash with a brush to remove soil and air-dry before storing in the refrigerator in a container or bag. You can grate some whenever you need it – no need to peel if it is clean.

Garlic – buy plump, healthy looking bulbs – avoid shriveled or dried up pieces with exposed, yellowing flesh. Hill garlic with its larger cloves is easier to handle, though a bit more expensive. To peel separate the cloves, slice into two lengthwise and twist off the skin – it comes off easily.

(Ginger-garlic paste -To crush a small amount of ginger and/or garlic, chop roughly, place on the chopping board, sprinkle some salt over it and crush with a rolling pin. You will get a fairly smooth paste. Scrape off with a knife and use in cooking. It is good to use fresh ginger garlic paste, but if you use a lot of it in your cooking, it is time consuming to do it every time.

Most of us make ginger-garlic paste in bulk and store in the freezer for up to a week or more. Proportions vary according to preference. Some people use equal proportions, others use four parts of ginger to three parts of garlic. Cut roughly and put in the mixie jar with some salt and grind, stopping often to push it down with a spoon or spatula. The salt will make it easier to grind and will also act as a preservative. Adding a bit of oil towards the endwill help keep it fresh longer and you need not store it in the freezer, but can keep it in a jar in the fridge for a week or more.)

 

Potatoes - Choose smooth, firm, well-shaped (not crooked or bumpy) potatoes of medium size without green patches, blemishes or sprouts. Store in an airy basket at room temperature – don’t leave them in a plastic bag, or they will get moist and rot. New potatoes are thin-skinned and can be scraped. Older potatoes need to be peeled. Peel as thinly as possible, as most of the vitamins are just under the skin. Don't expose peeled or cut potatoes to air for too long - keep them submerged in water until needed to avoid oxidation.

Onions – The bulbs should be smooth, well shaped and dry, with clean, papery outer skin. The ends should be tight and dry. They should not have hard stalks, shoots or smelly wet patches. Avoid double onions. Wash them after removing the skins, as they often have a sooty deposit on them. Store open at room temperature. It is easier to remove the skins if you first cut the onion in half lengthwise. Use cut onions quickly, do not store as they deteriorate very fast.

Tomatoes – must be firm, smooth and red without wrinkles or cracks. Local or country tomatoes are better for cooking  - they are juicy and sour and make tastier gravies. Hybrid tomatoes are good for salads, but can also be used for cooking. Store in the refrigerator in a plastic bag. If you are slicing tomatoes for sandwiches, it is good to peel them first, or the whole slice comes out when you take a bite. Plunge them in boiling water, leave covered for a minute and then remove and cool. The skin will come off easily. Tomatoes contain a cancer fighting flavinoid called Lycopene, which becomes more easily available to the body when cooked.

Some Common Vegetables:

For most vegetables, follow the general tips given in the previous post.  Here I’m going to give some tips for certain vegetables so you get the best out of them. If you are not going to use them immediately, refrigerate them in a plastic bag or large airtight container, or they will get dehydrated. Wash before cooking, not before storing.

Greens (Saag, keerai)– They should look fresh and crisp, not limp. Avoid wet bunches that have rot in between and those with spotted leaves or holes chewed by insects. Also, avoid greens that have flowers or seeds, as these will be tough and fibrous. Break off excess stalks to clean and wash thoroughly in as many changes of water as needed to get them clean, otherwise you will be chewing mud and sand and ruin your tooth enamel. Soaking first for 5 - 10 minutes (not more) should loosen the dirt so it washes off more easily. Again, don’t cut too long before cooking. To store the greens for a couple of days, wrap in newspaper or cloth, put in an airtight bag and store in the fridge. Never store wet greens, store dry and wash before using.

Brinjals (Baingan, Katrikai) – Brinjals are of many kinds – large, small, long, round, dark purple, violet, green, white, striped, etc. Press each piece lightly – they must feel fairly springy and must not be heavy. I usually pick them up and tap them. If they sound hollow, they are tender. Seedy ones sound more solid and feel hard. Visually check each brinjal, as they are prone to worms and reject the ones with holes. Always be alert when you are cutting and remove all wormy and defective parts.

 

Bottle gourd (Lauki, dudhi, sorakkai) – Tender bottle gourds are usually slimmer and you can pierce the skin with your thumbnail. If they are tender and unblemished, you can cook them without peeling. Store as it is in the vegetable drawer of the fridge - cut only when needed.

French/bush beans – Fresh and tender beans should be fleshy and snap if you bend them. Don’t buy them if they look old and have large seeds, as they will be stringy and fibrous. Always string the beans before cutting. Break off the point in the opposite direction and slowly pull away the string. Then do the same with the top end and pull away on the opposite side. Really tender beans will not have string.

Flat beans (Papdi, Avarakkai) – Don’t buy them if they are bulging with seeds – they will be fibrous and tough. Look for beans with tender seeds inside, which you can hardly feel under your fingers. These too need to be properly stringed before cutting.

Cluster beans (Gavar, Kotarakkai) – These should be young, slim and green. Don’t buy yellowish ones full of seeds, they will be tough. It is difficult to string cluster beans, as the string does not pull off completely. Young beans need not be stringed, only topped and tailed.

String beans (Lobia, karamani) – Buy the green variety, they are more expensive, but fleshy and delicious. They should be smooth and springy. Avoid seedy beans. The white variety is not so fleshy – mostly skin and seeds.

Cabbage (Pattagobhi, Kos)– See that there are no holes in the outer leaves; otherwise the inside may also be infested with grubs. A cabbage head should be heavy. Can be stored in the fridge as it is as the outer leaves will protect the insides.

Cauliflower (Phool gobhi)– The florets should be densely packed and white. Don’t buy if the florets are yellow, loose or sprouting or if they have blemishes. I have not found the popular practice of soaking in salt water effective in removing grubs in cauliflower. The most effective way I find is to break the cauliflower into florets and hold each under running water, opening it as much as possible for the stream of water to get in and loosen the grubs. Store as it is in the fridge or break into florets and store in an airtight bag or container.

Drumsticks – Drumsticks should be fleshy and springy. Pick up one and twist gently  - it must twist easily and spring back. Over-ripe drumsticks will resist twisting and crack at the joints, esp at the tip. Don’t buy thin, stringy ones either, as they have no flesh, or ones that look dried up. When I was a child, my mother removed the outer skin from the drumsticks by cutting them half way with a knife then pulling it off the main body. Hold the skin that is jutting out and pull away, and cut another piece across the clean side and pull away the skin from the other side. Do this with each piece until the whole drumstick is cut. When I moved to Chennai, I found that most people here don’t remove the skin and the drumstick tastes just as good and is easier to handle while eating, so just do what suits you. Drumsticks are awkward to store because of their length, so cut into 2" pieces and store in an airtight container. As far as possible, cook the same day or the next day for best flavor.

Ladies Finger (Okra, Bhindi, Vendakkai) - Pick medium size ladies fingers that look fresh and green. To check for tenderness, bend the tail end with your thumb - it must snap off. Don't snap ends of all the pieces - just a random few if in doubt. If the tail does not snap but just bends or splits, it is too fibrous and will not cook well. Top and tail and cut as you wish. Some people don't cut off the tail end - it is edible, but I personally like to chop off a tiny bit for aesthetic reasons alone. Ladies fingers release a mucilaginous slime when the cut edges are wet, so wash and dry well before cutting and keep wiping the knife with a piece of absorbent paper whenever necessary. If you are cooking dry bhindi sabzi, don't add salt too soon, or it will release water and get slimy. Add salt when it is half cooked and looks fairly dry. Cook in an open vessel to retain color and avoid excessive moisture. Turn carefully to avoid breaking up the pieces.

I know this is not an exhaustive list, but hope it was helpful. My next Post will be about facts and myths about Fat. Until then, bye!

On Shopping, Food and Nutrition

 

Like I said before, my mother did all the housework herself, so from a young age I was called upon to help whenever needed and wherever the assistance of a 6 – 10 year old was appropriate. This usually happened during summer holidays, when time hung heavy and we needed to be kept out of trouble. In fact, when I was little and bored with my limited play options, I would follow my mother around begging her to let me do what she was doing. I longed to be grown up. 

One day my mother ran out of coriander leaves while cooking and asked me to go across the road to buy a bunch. Having no change, she gave me a Rs.5 note and told me to get 10 paise worth of coriander leaves. I was excited to be entrusted with such a responsible task. “Be careful while crossing the road,” she called after me. Normally, I should have gone down the road in front of our home a short distance, gone out the gate of the campus and then crossed the main road to the line of shops across. I decided to take the short cut.

Clutching the money in my hand, I ran across the road in front of our house, jumped across the ditch, climbed over the campus wall and jumped down, crossed the wide ditch on the other side and then looking left and right as I had been taught, crossed the main road to the vegetable shop. The vendor recognized me as he had seen me with my mother. He gave me what I needed and I ran across home the same way I had come.

My mother had watched my progress from the window and was already annoyed with me. “Where is the change?” she asked when I gave her the bunch. Change?  I looked at her blankly. Switching off the stove and taking me by the hand, she hurried me back to the shop, this time by the proper route. I got a sound lecture on the way about my irresponsible behavior while crossing the road and carelessness with money. The shopkeeper had the change ready. “She ran off before I could give it to her. I would have come to return it, but here you are." (“हम आता होता, पण तुमच आया,” were his exact words in the Hindi-Marathi-Gujarati blend common among the locals.)

That was my first lesson in shopping. After that I began to take more interest and learnt from my mother over the years how to buy vegetables and fruit, how to select good ones, how to compare prices and bargain. She would not tolerate my bringing home sub-standard stuff and would scold me roundly. Later, I learnt how to buy meat and fish and not to unquestioningly accept the vendor’s word as to the item’s freshness.  Today I have domestic help and often I send them to go and buy something. Sometimes they come back with something unsatisfactory and I have to bite my tongue, as I’m not a scolder by nature and the alternative is to go out and get it myself. Whenever I shop, I feel grateful to my mother for teaching me this skill, especially when I watch other shoppers put unsuitable stuff in their baskets. 

My mother was interested in health and would always ensure we ate nutritious food. We were not allowed to fuss or leave anything on our plates. Whether we liked something or not, we had to eat it if it was on our plates. This training has stood me in very good stead. Wherever I have traveled, I have never had trouble with food. I can eat almost anything that is edible and I am willing to try new things. I am an easy guest to please where food is concerned, because there is hardly anything I don’t like. I have watched other Indians during my travels suffer acutely when their preferred diet was not available. Some even carried food from home to tide them over, or bottles of pickle or chilly sauce. But I was always able to find something on the menu to enjoy.

Perhaps because of my early training, I developed an interest in health and nutrition. I’m going to share some of what I have learnt, first from my mother and then from other sources like friends, relations, books, magazines and the Internet. Perhaps some of you may find something of value here. I would also welcome your input and feedback to expand my knowledge, because I’m sure there are many things I don’t know. I will need to do this over multiple posts, as there is so much to convey. Here is where you can help me by asking questions or telling me your areas of interest.

So let’s begin with some general tips:

• It is generally better to buy local fruits and vegetables that are in season. They are likely to be both cheap and fresh, as they don’t have to travel that far to your table. The fresher, the more nutritious.

• Buy vegetables that have a good color and look healthy and attractive. They should be firm and not wilted or dull looking, overripe, under-ripe or damaged in any way.

• Don’t buy fresh and then store too long or carelessly even in the fridge. You lose both nutrition and taste. Keep them in containers or plastic bags in the refrigerator to avoid dehydration. Use within a couple of days.

• Wash your veggies well, but before cutting, not after to ensure minimum loss of nutrients.

• Eat fruits and vegetables of different colors every day. The various pigments contain different kinds of flavinoids, which have antioxidant properties and work to prevent cancer and cardiovascular diseases. Include red, green, yellow, orange and purple on your plate. You have the double advantage of your food looking attractive and appetizing as well as being more nutritious.

• Include plenty of greens – eat them three or four times a week. Eat different kinds of beans and legumes too, both fresh and dried. A high fiber diet keeps your colon healthy and is a guard against colon cancer.

• Ensure variety in your diet. Don’t eat the same old vegetables all the time. If you don’t like a certain vegetable, it is possible that you will like it if it is prepared differently.  Experiment with different recipes. (I never liked ‘lobia’ or ‘karamani’ until I ate it in a friend’s place prepared in an entirely different way. I liked it so much then that I cook it regularly now and always take a second helping.  Many friends have told me they never liked pumpkin until they had it at my house. My pumpkin bharta always gets cleaned out at parties).

• Don’t buy cut vegetables or fruit, however convenient they may seem. Cut surfaces get oxidized and you will be ingesting more free radicals, which are responsible for sickness and disease. Besides, fruits and vegetables begin losing nutrition from the moment they are peeled or cut. Cutting all your vegetables before starting your cooking is a dubious habit if your cut veggies are sitting around too long. Cut as you are cooking or just before eating for best nutrition value. Especially onions should not be cut and kept – they deteriorate very fast. They are also bacteria magnets and are likely to make you ill. Cut only what you need and throw away left over raw onion.

• By the same token, avoid raw salads at restaurants and weddings unless you are assured of them being washed and freshly prepared in a clean environment. Especially if you reach the table late, the salad will have deteriorated in nutrition value and have accumulated a lot of bacteria by the time you eat it. Stick to cooked food at such times.

Enough for now. In my next post I plan to share some more specific tips on selecting and storing vegetables for maximum freshness, nutrition and minimum wastage. Until then, cheers!

The Un-Importance of Money

One thing I remember about my childhood is that we didn’t need money to be happy.  Money and the things it could buy hardly ever entered our minds. My best memories were the years between age four and ten, from1961 to 1967.  Those six years stand out like a bright beacon in a childhood that I would say was otherwise quite dull in comparison.  I remember so many things from that period like it was yesterday.  Those were the years when we had the least money.

My father got a job teaching Russian at IIT Powai, Bombay and we moved into the campus to live in the lecturer’s flats there.  It was in the beginning years of IIT Bombay and there was a lot of construction, road building and landscaping going on all around us.  For one year I attended St. Xavier’s school at Bhandup, which was some distance away and we had to take the school bus.  Later, when a local school was started on campus, my younger brother and I went there.  After a year, the Central School system was introduced (some years later it was renamed Kendriya Vidyalaya).  The fees were negligible – something like Re.1 a month or less! 

We walked to school with our school bags in hand or on our shoulders, I leading my brother by the hand.  As we walked, we were joined by other children on the way and arrived at school talking and laughing in a large group, before dispersing to our classes.  In the evenings we played together on the roads in front of our houses, standing aside to let an occasional car pass by.  Often we got together and decided to visit someone living further away, or go exploring by the shore of Powai lake looking for snail shells, climb trees to pluck mangoes or flowers or wade in the ditches on the side of the roads to catch tadpoles (the ditches were clean – plastic bags were not known then, and people in our locality at least were educated and cultured and didn’t throw garbage on the roadside).  Or we pooled our meager pocket money together and hired a bicycle for 10 paise an hour and took turns learning to ride while the rest held on and ran behind.

My parents were of modest means.  I never knew of my mother’s struggles to manage the home and bring up two children (and a parrot, a cat and a non-resident dog) on a lecturer’s income.  All I knew was that life was good, every day had some surprises in store and we were happy and had lots of friends. My mother did all the housework and cooking herself.  I learnt early to make my bed, sweep the house, iron handkerchiefs and work in the garden.  And yes, we had to regularly clean out the hencoop in the corner of the garden and spread the muck we had collected on the compost heap. We had eight White Leghorns, which we grew from chicks.  Later they were joined by three White Rocks and then we acquired a brown hen that laid two brown eggs a day, but made up for it by the trouble she caused - that is another story. 

We’d chase the hens, grab and hug them and when they got into the basket to lay their eggs, we’d sit beside them with our hands underneath to catch the warm eggs as they dropped.  Then we’d run to our mother with the eggs and she’d make a hole in each and we’d sprinkle salt and pepper and suck it out, fresh as fresh could be!  Life was good and full of simple pleasures.

We had few toys.  I had a doll called Rosebud, given by a Russian friend of my dad’s. She had blonde curly hair and blue eyes which could open and shut.  Apart from Rosebud, I had a stuffed bear called Bhaloo.  As far as I can remember, these were my only toys for a long time.  My brother had a meccano set and later we got a monopoly set and a pack of cards and when friends came over we would all play with them.  Most of the time we were outdoors, playing with sticks and stones, seeds and flowers that we found around us.  Money hardly came into the picture at all.

Every school day my mother handed me one anna (6 paise) to spend as I liked. I usually bought ‘Extra Strong’ peppermints and shared with friends. Some weekends, we’d be handed Re.1 each and we’d get together with our friends and walk a kilometer or more to the IIT auditorium to watch the film that was showing that day. It didn’t matter what it was – sometimes it was a Hindi film, sometimes English, sometimes Russian. In those days films didn’t have violence, foul language or explicit scenes for our parents to worry about.

We didn’t have to be dropped, picked up or chaperoned everywhere. Our parents didn’t always know where we were, but they knew we were safe. We just asked permission to go out and play and then went wherever our fancy took us, as long as it was within the campus (which was hundreds of acres). No one had telephones as far as we knew – at least we didn’t. When it got dark, we all made our way home.

Sadly, we left IIT Powai when I was ten, because my father got a better job in New Delhi at the Centre of Russian Studies. Life changed for me completely. For many years, we didn’t stay in any one place for long, as his boss would ask us to move to a different place at whim, sometimes after just three months. I could never again make close friends in my neighborhood and those subsequent years of childhood were very lonely. I missed my old environment, my friends, my cat and my hens. Our parrot Mitthoo was also affected by the change and stopped talking. I realize only now how fortunate I had been, that not all children of my generation enjoyed growing up in an environment such as I had had during those precious years.

Today things are so different. Children have so many toys and possessions and continuously want more. There is no sense of contentment, and parents struggle to provide all the things their children want and need. Envy is commonplace and parents are bombarded with demands because so-and-so has this or ‘everyone’ has that (isn’t it amazing how three people in a group of ten becomes ‘everyone’?). Even parents are busy keeping up with the Joneses. They want the ‘best’ schools for their kids, send them to special classes to learn dance, music, tennis or swimming. In the hustle to provide the best and the latest, they fail to provide experiences that are truly valuable, that teach life skills and of which memories are made.

I wonder if it wouldn’t be time well spent and pay huge dividends later, if we sit down occasionally and spend some time thinking about interesting things to do for our children that do not cost money?  To teach them the simple pleasures of life, inculcate a love for the outdoors and group play.  To set aside our time-devouring TV sets, laptops, i-pads and cell phones to talk to them, play board games or go for a nature walk, fly kites or play Frisbee on the beach.  When we focus on money and the things it can buy and when our happiness begins to depend on such things alone, isn’t something seriously wrong?  Do we really need that fancy house that needs a bevy of servants to look after?  And which takes the rest of our lives to maintain our ‘standard of living’ as well as to pay for in EMIs?  Or that fancy car that guzzles fuel?  Or that expensive school for our kids? 

And to afford all this we take on a stressful job that keeps us out of our homes till late at night (that gives us blood pressure and ulcers and huge medical bills).  And then we come home and ‘de-stress’ in front of the TV or at our computers or i-pads, shutting out our family members and especially our children, leaving them to their own devices.  And since we are draining our resources on a continuous basis, we fail to provide sensibly for our future.  Perhaps we need to take time every now and then to take a long, hard look at our lives and check to see if things are going the way they should be, that we are adding value to our lives in the areas that truly matter.